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When you make friends with people, you start by introducing yourself and finding a ground that you both are interested in. From that time on, a relationship is built and one that can even last one's lifetime. Building your links is just like making a new friend which you can both benefit from. If you build your link, you will also get a link from that. You start building your link relationships by looking for people who you have the same interests or share the same website contents with. You do not have to sell them or ask them anything.
You can also comment on blog-sites which interest you or is related to your field of expertise. You can share with them your own experience and idea. You can also contradict their ideas politely or update their shared information. Strike up an interesting conversation to spark the owner's interest enough to take a look at your site and allow you to link to them and vice versa. You can also use log files of your website where you can see who has viewed your page and then find out some information about them. When you have located their site, talk to them.